Gold's Gym is a popular national gym chain originating in Los Angeles, California. It was started by bodybuilder Joe Gold in 1965 and has been a home to bodybuilders and fitness enthusiasts ever since.
Gold's Gyms represent the 'golden era' or bodybuilding. It's all over their signage. Images of bodybuilders with big arms, small legs, and slightly-less-than-average bodyfat adorn their walls. Its logo has a cloudy, golden-era looking man with a bent barbell. It also has an all-american style, having been founded by Joe Gold in Los Angeles, CA, back in 1965. Give me a more American man than a guy named Joe Gold. I'll wait.
The Mecca of all gyms is the Gold's Gym in Venice Beach, California. Countless bodybuilding legends have worked out in that gym. Arnie, Cutler, Dex, Joffrey. Too many to count. For some reason, it's become a destination gym for people visiting California from all over the world. It holds a special place in the heart of bodybuilding.
Gold's Gyms typically have no restrictions. Unlike bullshit gym chains like Planet Fitness, Gold's doesn't ban barbell exercises. They have dumbbells going up way past 60ibs. If you want to work out, no matter your program, you will probably get a good pump at a Gold's.
Gold's Gyms are usually fitted with extra amenities. These include saunas, pools, and classes. Of course, this depends on the location. But Gold's is not marketed as a cheap, economy club. If you belong to a Gold's, chances are, you are not dead poor. That's what community centers and Planet Fitness are for. So, they need to provide additional services to make them worth it. It's hard to not like your gym when they have such sweet perks.
Gold's Gyms typically have mid-tier pricing. They are not super pricy. They don't fuck you over like a CrossFit gym. They are fair and reasonable, typically between 30 and 50 per month. They have a great image, good services, and clean facilities; all you got to do is nix a date or two per month and you can afford it.
If I wasn't a peasant, I'd buy a membership. I don't do classes, swim, or tan, but those are nice options in case I decide I want to become a DYEL pool diver with skin cancer.
Friday, December 16, 2016
Monday, December 12, 2016
Why Powerlifting Is More Dangerous Than Bodybuilding
Powerlifting is a strength sport that tests an athlete's proficiency at the squat, bench press, and deadlift. The sport does not take into account looks, which explains fatty lifters and skinny girl superwomen. Bodybuilding is the frequent use of resistance weight training to cause hypertrophy muscle growth in the body. The sport has evolved into thousands of competitions across the world, with the most prized one being the Mr. Olympia contest.
The weights are heavier. This is a given. Bodybuilders don't need to squat insane numbers for growth. Quads are some of the easiest muscles in the body to grow with lightweight time under tension. Powerlifters, however, are not interested in hypertrophy, they are interested in lifting the most amount of weight possible. The increased stress on the joints leaves athletes more prone to injuries.
The workouts include more compound movements. Compound movements can be great if the appropriate weight and form is used. They use multiple muscle groups and promote the most growth. However, this also means that they put more stress on the body. Bodybuilders may have a 'biceps day' where they focus on curl variations, but powerlifters will have a 'deadlift day' where they primarily focus on deadlift variations with curls added to the end. Deadlifts tax the back, biceps, and legs.
Form and one rep maximums do not go hand in hand. Ya wanna go crazy for the gram. I'm not judging. But let's face it. When your 1RM is 275 on conventional deadlift and you decide to say "Fuck it, I'm going for 3 plates," your form will likely be worse. This is not always bad, as you need to push yourself in all sports. But if you look like a frightened cat you are putting your spine at risk. Powerlifters are more likely to push for bad 1RM because they care about weight, while bodybuilders can get pumps off of 20ib dumbbells and resistance bands .
Powerlifting encourages stimulant abuse. Bodybuilding and powerlifting both use performance enhancing drugs. But I'd argue that powerlifters use more stimulants. Sure, average preworkout will have caffeine. But bodybuilders don't need to get FUCKING PSYCHED to do a superset. Powerlifters really do need to get FUCKING PSYCHED to deadlift 1000ibs. So they load up on caffeine to the max and use nose tork when competing. If you use too many stimulants too often, they lose their effectiveness, you use more, repeat cycle. Then you need to get the fuck off them because you can't afford 30 caffeine pills every workout and you suffer from withdrawal. Shit sucks, b.
The required eating leads to digestive issues. This probably applies more to strongmen, but the same thinking applies to powerlifters, as well. Strength and bodyweight are unfortunately correlated. So, if you want to be the absolute strongest in a lift across weight classes, you will have to get fat-strong. To many people, you will look like just another fatty. But gym bros everywhere will respect the superficial sacrifice to get fuckin yuge. Some of these fatties have to eat 10k calories a day. That leads to digestive issues that leave you feeling real sick.
Chances are, if you obsessively pursue any sport, you will deal with injuries. But in powerlifting, if you are a noob, you are even more likely to hurt yourself.
The weights are heavier. This is a given. Bodybuilders don't need to squat insane numbers for growth. Quads are some of the easiest muscles in the body to grow with lightweight time under tension. Powerlifters, however, are not interested in hypertrophy, they are interested in lifting the most amount of weight possible. The increased stress on the joints leaves athletes more prone to injuries.
The workouts include more compound movements. Compound movements can be great if the appropriate weight and form is used. They use multiple muscle groups and promote the most growth. However, this also means that they put more stress on the body. Bodybuilders may have a 'biceps day' where they focus on curl variations, but powerlifters will have a 'deadlift day' where they primarily focus on deadlift variations with curls added to the end. Deadlifts tax the back, biceps, and legs.
Form and one rep maximums do not go hand in hand. Ya wanna go crazy for the gram. I'm not judging. But let's face it. When your 1RM is 275 on conventional deadlift and you decide to say "Fuck it, I'm going for 3 plates," your form will likely be worse. This is not always bad, as you need to push yourself in all sports. But if you look like a frightened cat you are putting your spine at risk. Powerlifters are more likely to push for bad 1RM because they care about weight, while bodybuilders can get pumps off of 20ib dumbbells and resistance bands .
Powerlifting encourages stimulant abuse. Bodybuilding and powerlifting both use performance enhancing drugs. But I'd argue that powerlifters use more stimulants. Sure, average preworkout will have caffeine. But bodybuilders don't need to get FUCKING PSYCHED to do a superset. Powerlifters really do need to get FUCKING PSYCHED to deadlift 1000ibs. So they load up on caffeine to the max and use nose tork when competing. If you use too many stimulants too often, they lose their effectiveness, you use more, repeat cycle. Then you need to get the fuck off them because you can't afford 30 caffeine pills every workout and you suffer from withdrawal. Shit sucks, b.
The required eating leads to digestive issues. This probably applies more to strongmen, but the same thinking applies to powerlifters, as well. Strength and bodyweight are unfortunately correlated. So, if you want to be the absolute strongest in a lift across weight classes, you will have to get fat-strong. To many people, you will look like just another fatty. But gym bros everywhere will respect the superficial sacrifice to get fuckin yuge. Some of these fatties have to eat 10k calories a day. That leads to digestive issues that leave you feeling real sick.
Chances are, if you obsessively pursue any sport, you will deal with injuries. But in powerlifting, if you are a noob, you are even more likely to hurt yourself.
Monday, December 5, 2016
How Strongman Training Differ From Powerlifting
Powerlifting is a strength sport that tests an athlete's proficiency at the squat, bench press, and deadlift. The sport does not take into account looks, which explains fatty lifters and skinny girl superwomen. Strongmen are strength competitors who test their skills across a variety of activities like the log lift, farmer walk, and tire deadlifts. They are typically big tall monster men.
Strongmen don't spend all day jerking off barbells. In powerlifting, competitors focus on the squat, bench, and deadlift. All barbell work. Strongmen do log lifts, keg flips, and crazy farmer walks. FUNCTIONAL STRENGTH, AM I RIGHT?
Strongmen typically don't have weight classes, instead focusing on absolute strength. You have tall dudes like The Mountain facing short guys like Eddie Hall in the same activities. You'd think height would be an absolute advantage, but it's not. In powerlifting, competitors are split into classes because strength typically correlates with bodyweight.
Competitive strongmen ARE fat. You don't need to be fat to be a powerlifter. You can just compete in a low weight class and look DYEL but be really strong. Plenty of people do that. However, to be a strongman, you literally have to eat 10k calories a day and you get super fat. Don't get me wrong, if you cut, you'd be jacked, but right now, you're just a fat man with inhuman strength. Sacrifice for the gainz.
Strongmen are much less safe than powerlifters. Hate me, but it's true. Strongmen are lifting way more weight in much weirder ways for much longer time. Lifting 300ibs logs isn't normal. Farmer walking mini-cars isn't great for your body, either. How can somebody safely spot you if you're lifting 500ibs over your head?
Strongmen can only train in specialized gyms. Every gym worth its sweat has a barbell. The only ones that don't are Planet Fitness outlets and hotel gyms. But I've never been inside a gym with a loglift. Those kinds of gyms are relatively rare and expensive. Just one reason why we'll never have a champion strongman from Montana.
Strongmen are basically powerlifters on (more) steroids.
Strongmen don't spend all day jerking off barbells. In powerlifting, competitors focus on the squat, bench, and deadlift. All barbell work. Strongmen do log lifts, keg flips, and crazy farmer walks. FUNCTIONAL STRENGTH, AM I RIGHT?
Strongmen typically don't have weight classes, instead focusing on absolute strength. You have tall dudes like The Mountain facing short guys like Eddie Hall in the same activities. You'd think height would be an absolute advantage, but it's not. In powerlifting, competitors are split into classes because strength typically correlates with bodyweight.
Competitive strongmen ARE fat. You don't need to be fat to be a powerlifter. You can just compete in a low weight class and look DYEL but be really strong. Plenty of people do that. However, to be a strongman, you literally have to eat 10k calories a day and you get super fat. Don't get me wrong, if you cut, you'd be jacked, but right now, you're just a fat man with inhuman strength. Sacrifice for the gainz.
Strongmen are much less safe than powerlifters. Hate me, but it's true. Strongmen are lifting way more weight in much weirder ways for much longer time. Lifting 300ibs logs isn't normal. Farmer walking mini-cars isn't great for your body, either. How can somebody safely spot you if you're lifting 500ibs over your head?
Strongmen can only train in specialized gyms. Every gym worth its sweat has a barbell. The only ones that don't are Planet Fitness outlets and hotel gyms. But I've never been inside a gym with a loglift. Those kinds of gyms are relatively rare and expensive. Just one reason why we'll never have a champion strongman from Montana.
Strongmen are basically powerlifters on (more) steroids.
Friday, December 2, 2016
Why Bodybuilding Is Good For You
Bodybuilding is the frequent use of resistance weight training to cause hypertrophy muscle growth in the body. The sport has evolved into thousands of competitions across the world, with the most prized one being the Mr. Olympia contest.
Your clothes will fit better. Well, working out the right way will make your clothes fit better. You will build muscle on your arms, shoulders, chest, and legs. You will buy stretchy pants that are 8% spandex and they will feel great. You will have to buy shirts a size higher than you used to, but they will look better. You should not wear suits. Your clothes will no longer be hiding your body, they will be framing your gainz.
You will be more confident. Honestly, even with little visual changes, you will still feel better. You won't feel like a fat fuck for watching Netflix on the couch if you've been working your ass off in the gym all week. You'll feel superior to the people you see on a daily basis who are out of shape. This will help you in public places, at work, and with the ladies/dudes. You know it's for the dudes. Girls don't care about you rear delts.
You can eat what you want. Within reason, duh. But if you're not competing, and you're in the gym most days of the week with sweet cardio, you can pretty much what whatever you want and not get fat. It's still calories in vs. calories out, but those calories in will build muscle instead of going straight to fat. If you're not super short, not super old/weak, and have never been obese, you won't have to go hungry to make gainz.
At 5'8'', I eat 3000 - 3500 calories a day and maintain/slow bulk at a current 171ibs/12% bodyfat. It doesn't make too much sense (that's a lot of food for a shorty like me) but I roll with it.
Your clothes will fit better. Well, working out the right way will make your clothes fit better. You will build muscle on your arms, shoulders, chest, and legs. You will buy stretchy pants that are 8% spandex and they will feel great. You will have to buy shirts a size higher than you used to, but they will look better. You should not wear suits. Your clothes will no longer be hiding your body, they will be framing your gainz.
You will be more confident. Honestly, even with little visual changes, you will still feel better. You won't feel like a fat fuck for watching Netflix on the couch if you've been working your ass off in the gym all week. You'll feel superior to the people you see on a daily basis who are out of shape. This will help you in public places, at work, and with the ladies/dudes. You know it's for the dudes. Girls don't care about you rear delts.
You can eat what you want. Within reason, duh. But if you're not competing, and you're in the gym most days of the week with sweet cardio, you can pretty much what whatever you want and not get fat. It's still calories in vs. calories out, but those calories in will build muscle instead of going straight to fat. If you're not super short, not super old/weak, and have never been obese, you won't have to go hungry to make gainz.
At 5'8'', I eat 3000 - 3500 calories a day and maintain/slow bulk at a current 171ibs/12% bodyfat. It doesn't make too much sense (that's a lot of food for a shorty like me) but I roll with it.
Wednesday, November 30, 2016
How Bodybuilding Has Thrived Off Drama
Bodybuilding is the frequent use of resistance weight training to cause hypertrophy muscle growth in the body. The sport has evolved into thousands of competitions across the world, with the most prized one being the Mr. Olympia contest.
Any publicity is good publicity. For such a small sport, any headline is a good headline. Headlines bring clicks, and clicks bring awareness. Let the people find out about bodybuilding through some bullshit drama, and then explore the sport through online forums and fall in love with it on their own. All you gotta do is light the spark and hope that it catches. Doesn't matter if that spark comes from a lightning bolt or from a spinning stick.
Competitors' drama drives the news cycles before competitions. Normies won't care about a muscle competition, but they might care if two muscle dudes allegedly hate each other AND are both huge AND are of different races!!! Which race will gain the glory of having the biggest muscle man??? Articles basically imply this shit. And as said before, this drives clicks and plants the seeds of prospective fans.
The sport is based on superficial looks, whatdaya expect. I'd say 99% of high school drama is based on someone making fun of someone else's looks. OH MY GOD BECKY LOOK AT HER BUTT. Bodybuilding is not much different than high school. You got the nerds, the jocks, and the bullies. Only difference between the two is that bodybuilders are yoked. When you diss someone else's rear delts, all hell can break loose.
The biggest bodybuilding 'journalists' are TMZ knockoffs. I love TMZ, so that isn't a diss. If you pay attention to bodybuilding long enough, you've come across The L.U.I. His most popular platform, Instagram, is filled with posts coming out every fucking minute that largely focus on drama. He wouldn't make this shit if we didn't eat it up. We are literally eating shit.
There's not much else to talk about. There aren't 'games' every other week with insider analysis and speculation. There aren't whole teams that can be dissected and discussed in length. There aren't drafts at the beginning of every season that leads the news cycles for months prior. Bodybuilding is a 1 man beauty pageant, and the sad fact is that without drama, there would be very little news.
Don't deride the drama, delve into it. Become the drama.
Any publicity is good publicity. For such a small sport, any headline is a good headline. Headlines bring clicks, and clicks bring awareness. Let the people find out about bodybuilding through some bullshit drama, and then explore the sport through online forums and fall in love with it on their own. All you gotta do is light the spark and hope that it catches. Doesn't matter if that spark comes from a lightning bolt or from a spinning stick.
Competitors' drama drives the news cycles before competitions. Normies won't care about a muscle competition, but they might care if two muscle dudes allegedly hate each other AND are both huge AND are of different races!!! Which race will gain the glory of having the biggest muscle man??? Articles basically imply this shit. And as said before, this drives clicks and plants the seeds of prospective fans.
The sport is based on superficial looks, whatdaya expect. I'd say 99% of high school drama is based on someone making fun of someone else's looks. OH MY GOD BECKY LOOK AT HER BUTT. Bodybuilding is not much different than high school. You got the nerds, the jocks, and the bullies. Only difference between the two is that bodybuilders are yoked. When you diss someone else's rear delts, all hell can break loose.
The biggest bodybuilding 'journalists' are TMZ knockoffs. I love TMZ, so that isn't a diss. If you pay attention to bodybuilding long enough, you've come across The L.U.I. His most popular platform, Instagram, is filled with posts coming out every fucking minute that largely focus on drama. He wouldn't make this shit if we didn't eat it up. We are literally eating shit.
There's not much else to talk about. There aren't 'games' every other week with insider analysis and speculation. There aren't whole teams that can be dissected and discussed in length. There aren't drafts at the beginning of every season that leads the news cycles for months prior. Bodybuilding is a 1 man beauty pageant, and the sad fact is that without drama, there would be very little news.
Don't deride the drama, delve into it. Become the drama.
Wednesday, November 23, 2016
Why Rich Piana and Bostin Loyd Fight Each Other
Rich Piana is the head of 5% Nutrition, a popular fitness YouTuber, and a former competitive bodybuilder. He first became known in the online fitness community for his viral 8 Hour Arm Workout video. Few people know that before injecting hamsters into his triceps, Rich was once upon a time Mr. California and had a pretty great physique. However, after falling victim to a cringeworthy tattoo artist and succumbing to crippling body dysmorphia, Rich took his body to the next level and truly left humanity behind.
Bostin Lloyd is the CEO of Team 3CC and a former competitive bodybuilder that rose to internet fame by disclosing his entire PED regimen to anybody that would listen. His initial one year steroid transformation went viral online and triggered nattys and YouTube fitness celebrities all around the world. He’s admitted to having done every kind of steroid that he could got his hands on, with undesirable side effects (including lactating… ew).
Bostin used to be Rich's protege and then went rogue. Basically the foundation for any Shakespearean story. Bostin used to be just a young lad sticking needles up his ass and did some vids with wise old Rich before he blew up with Bigger By The Day. Then all of a sudden Bostin started calling out Rich for some bullshit (like his Mexican surgeries, lying to his fans, etc.) The grasshopper has betrayed his master.
Rich cares about fitness 'celebs' who bitch about him. If he didn't give a fuck, there would be no beef. When some random ass dude tried to challenge him to a fight, Rich made videos about him AND THEN people took notice. No one would have cared if Rich didn't respond. Same with Bostin. Rich says he doesn't care, then he makes a 50 minute video explaining how he doesn't care. He cares.
They compete over the same fans. They're both disgustingly huge and take a ton of drugs: Bostin shows himself injecting shit and Rich has publicly posted his drug schedule. They both have a ton of muscle but are not particularly aesthetic: Bostin has a gut and Rich has ape tits. They both own supplement companies: Bostin has 3CC and Rich Piana has 5%. There are only a certain number of people who admire these types of dudes, so they gotta grab them up when they can.
Any publicity is good publicity, even if it's from beef. Bostin's fans will side with Bostin, and Rich's fans will side with Rich. People like me who don't care about either of them will still pick a side and become more invested in who comes out on top. This kind of attention will translate to sales of both their products. Not from me, but likely from someone.
It's entertaining and harmless. Still, you never know where Rich will take these things.
Bostin Lloyd is the CEO of Team 3CC and a former competitive bodybuilder that rose to internet fame by disclosing his entire PED regimen to anybody that would listen. His initial one year steroid transformation went viral online and triggered nattys and YouTube fitness celebrities all around the world. He’s admitted to having done every kind of steroid that he could got his hands on, with undesirable side effects (including lactating… ew).
Bostin used to be Rich's protege and then went rogue. Basically the foundation for any Shakespearean story. Bostin used to be just a young lad sticking needles up his ass and did some vids with wise old Rich before he blew up with Bigger By The Day. Then all of a sudden Bostin started calling out Rich for some bullshit (like his Mexican surgeries, lying to his fans, etc.) The grasshopper has betrayed his master.
Rich cares about fitness 'celebs' who bitch about him. If he didn't give a fuck, there would be no beef. When some random ass dude tried to challenge him to a fight, Rich made videos about him AND THEN people took notice. No one would have cared if Rich didn't respond. Same with Bostin. Rich says he doesn't care, then he makes a 50 minute video explaining how he doesn't care. He cares.
They compete over the same fans. They're both disgustingly huge and take a ton of drugs: Bostin shows himself injecting shit and Rich has publicly posted his drug schedule. They both have a ton of muscle but are not particularly aesthetic: Bostin has a gut and Rich has ape tits. They both own supplement companies: Bostin has 3CC and Rich Piana has 5%. There are only a certain number of people who admire these types of dudes, so they gotta grab them up when they can.
They both got egos to feed. They both have an air of narcissism about them. They're both rich, but with delusions of grandeur. They think their bodies are attractive, despite their obvious flaws. As a result, they attack anybody who disrespects them as if they're the goddamn president.
It's entertaining and harmless. Still, you never know where Rich will take these things.
Wednesday, November 16, 2016
Why People Prefer Old School Bodybuilders
Old school bodybuilders are the competitors of the 60's, 70's, and 80's that looked softer than the monster freaks of today. Often referred to as the "Golden Age" of bodybuilding, these decades boasted heroes like Arnold Schwarzenegger, Frank Zane, and Serge Nubret.
Old school bodybuilders don't look like human dicks. They came in much softer (relative) to the new guys today. Instead of getting down to ~4-5% bodyfat, they were chilling around ~8% bodyfat. You couldn't see all the veins on their body, but they still looked great. They didn't have that dick-skin conditioning that you need today.
Old school bodybuilders didn't take as many drugs. Who REALLY knows, cause pros don't give out their entire drug regimen (only sometimes do we get that lucky). But the main reason the older guys didn't have dick-skin conditioning and didn't get as big as the top guys today are because they didn't take as many drugs. Sure, some people say their drugs were purer, but they didn't take the high doses that have become commonplace. Drugs are demonized in society, so those guys are seen as "better".
Old school bodybuilders prioritized mirror muscles over legs. This is the defining difference between old school and new school. Arnie, Serge, and Lou all had disgustingly huge chests and biceps. Arnie is known for the best chest of all time, even in today's age of all da drugs. These old school guys didn't work legs as much, cause why work legs if you wear pants most of your life?? Mirror muscles are called that for a reason: they are the only muscles that normies care about.
Old school bodybuilders didn't have unaesthetic bubble guys. No one knows exactly how these monster freaks get that strange looking bubble gut. Some say its the GH growing their internal organs. Some say its GH + slin. Some say it's because they eat a lot and their stomach stretches. No one knows, but the old school guys didn't have that. Even when relaxed, their stomachs looked normal. Nowadays, bodybuilders have to suck in their gut the entire time they're on stage or else someone will snap a pic of them at their worst. The bubble gut phenomenon is an ugly part of a sport that prioritizes looking good.
Old school bodybuilders didn't fuck grapefruits. Cheap shot? Maybe. But old schoolers didn't have to deal with that kind of weird drama. The most drama they had was Arnie mind-fucking his competitors.
They looked more 'attainable' and were what women wanted in those cheesy romantic books. It will be several more decades before humanity evolves and makes Big Lenny a sex symbol.
Old school bodybuilders don't look like human dicks. They came in much softer (relative) to the new guys today. Instead of getting down to ~4-5% bodyfat, they were chilling around ~8% bodyfat. You couldn't see all the veins on their body, but they still looked great. They didn't have that dick-skin conditioning that you need today.
Old school bodybuilders didn't take as many drugs. Who REALLY knows, cause pros don't give out their entire drug regimen (only sometimes do we get that lucky). But the main reason the older guys didn't have dick-skin conditioning and didn't get as big as the top guys today are because they didn't take as many drugs. Sure, some people say their drugs were purer, but they didn't take the high doses that have become commonplace. Drugs are demonized in society, so those guys are seen as "better".
Old school bodybuilders prioritized mirror muscles over legs. This is the defining difference between old school and new school. Arnie, Serge, and Lou all had disgustingly huge chests and biceps. Arnie is known for the best chest of all time, even in today's age of all da drugs. These old school guys didn't work legs as much, cause why work legs if you wear pants most of your life?? Mirror muscles are called that for a reason: they are the only muscles that normies care about.
Old school bodybuilders didn't have unaesthetic bubble guys. No one knows exactly how these monster freaks get that strange looking bubble gut. Some say its the GH growing their internal organs. Some say its GH + slin. Some say it's because they eat a lot and their stomach stretches. No one knows, but the old school guys didn't have that. Even when relaxed, their stomachs looked normal. Nowadays, bodybuilders have to suck in their gut the entire time they're on stage or else someone will snap a pic of them at their worst. The bubble gut phenomenon is an ugly part of a sport that prioritizes looking good.
Old school bodybuilders didn't fuck grapefruits. Cheap shot? Maybe. But old schoolers didn't have to deal with that kind of weird drama. The most drama they had was Arnie mind-fucking his competitors.
They looked more 'attainable' and were what women wanted in those cheesy romantic books. It will be several more decades before humanity evolves and makes Big Lenny a sex symbol.
Friday, November 11, 2016
Why People Hate Bodybuilders
Bodybuilding is the frequent use of resistance weight training to cause hypertrophy muscle growth in the body. The sport has evolved into thousands of competitions across the world, with the most prized one being the Mr. Olympia contest.
They think bodybuilders are vain. Vain is defined as "excessively concerned over one's appearance." Most non-professional bodybuilders aren't "excessive", they just want to look good. If you're a pro, then you should be excessive about your job because that's what's making you money and that's how you live yo life.
They think bodybuilders are dumb. For whatever reason, there's this cultural connection between being smart and looking terrible. As if all nerds have to look like Erkel. What about Milhouse? People like to think themselves superior to others, and intelligence is just one standard of measurement they use. Because if you're lifting weights than you must be taking time out of your book-reading part of the day, right?
They think bodybuilders are bullies. The henchmen in your favorite superhero movies are big. Usually just fat, but clothed up so you can't really tell. In history, people have used their size to their evolutionary advantage. If you didn't have the elk meat, you go beat the guy who did and steal his elk meat. We live in a civilized society, but these stereotypes persist. End the hate. Open your mind.
They hate drug users. If you're a pro bodybuilder, and even if you're not, you probably use performance enhancing drugs of some sort (or multiple sorts!). People liken steroids to cocaine or heroin for whatever reason. Heroin and cocaine are physically addictive and incapacitate you from contributing to society. They are easy to overdose on and kill yourself with. Steroids are none of this and literally only make you bigger and stronger. Shouldn't we all be on steroids? SHOW ME THE BODIES.
They are jealous. "Everybody wants to be a bodybuilder, but no one wants to lift no heavy ass weights" - Ronnie "Magic Lotion" Coleman. If people didn't want to look great, the fitness industry wouldn't be so fucking huge. This comes down to jealousy. You see somebody with a better body than you, so you hate on them to make yourself feel better. "Yeah, they might be fuckin huge, but I bet they have no life/hate their mom/still use AOL." It's primarily done by people who hate their own lives so much that they project their vile thoughts onto others.
Orrrrrr they hate us cause they ain't us. Not more complex than that.
They think bodybuilders are vain. Vain is defined as "excessively concerned over one's appearance." Most non-professional bodybuilders aren't "excessive", they just want to look good. If you're a pro, then you should be excessive about your job because that's what's making you money and that's how you live yo life.
They think bodybuilders are dumb. For whatever reason, there's this cultural connection between being smart and looking terrible. As if all nerds have to look like Erkel. What about Milhouse? People like to think themselves superior to others, and intelligence is just one standard of measurement they use. Because if you're lifting weights than you must be taking time out of your book-reading part of the day, right?
They think bodybuilders are bullies. The henchmen in your favorite superhero movies are big. Usually just fat, but clothed up so you can't really tell. In history, people have used their size to their evolutionary advantage. If you didn't have the elk meat, you go beat the guy who did and steal his elk meat. We live in a civilized society, but these stereotypes persist. End the hate. Open your mind.
They hate drug users. If you're a pro bodybuilder, and even if you're not, you probably use performance enhancing drugs of some sort (or multiple sorts!). People liken steroids to cocaine or heroin for whatever reason. Heroin and cocaine are physically addictive and incapacitate you from contributing to society. They are easy to overdose on and kill yourself with. Steroids are none of this and literally only make you bigger and stronger. Shouldn't we all be on steroids? SHOW ME THE BODIES.
They are jealous. "Everybody wants to be a bodybuilder, but no one wants to lift no heavy ass weights" - Ronnie "Magic Lotion" Coleman. If people didn't want to look great, the fitness industry wouldn't be so fucking huge. This comes down to jealousy. You see somebody with a better body than you, so you hate on them to make yourself feel better. "Yeah, they might be fuckin huge, but I bet they have no life/hate their mom/still use AOL." It's primarily done by people who hate their own lives so much that they project their vile thoughts onto others.
Orrrrrr they hate us cause they ain't us. Not more complex than that.
Monday, November 7, 2016
Why The Most Popular Fitness Accessories Are Rip Offs
The fitness industry sucks, with people trying to rip off noobs left and right. Getting fit is cheap; all you need is less food and a Planet Fitness membership. But just like any hobby, you can spend as much money as you want to make yourself feel better.
Lululemon clothes. The clothes you wear account for 0% of the gains you make. Yeah, I get the look good --> feel good --> lift good connection, but you don't need to spend out the ass for clothes that look swell. Lululemon is incredibly overpriced and plain. You buy it for the logo, not the quality of clothes, and the brand is still so small that most people won't see it and think you are the bad ass bitch that you aren't.
Fat Gripz. Otherwise known as $40 PVC pipes that cost 5 cents. I understand how it might work your forearms, but wanna know what else works your forearms? FOREARM EXERCISES. Wrist curls, reverse curls, farmer walks. You don't need to spend money to make gains. Especially on products so stuck in the 90's they think replacing 's' with 'z' is cool.
Squat shoes. I get their use if you're a power lifter or squatting heavy weight. But let's get real. Most people who squat won't get over 225. And even if you do, squat shoes only help if you have poor ankle mobility. So save the $200 and just stretch ya ankles every few days.
Weight training gloves. Come on dude, you aren't going to get AIDS from a fucking barbell. Well, actually, ok I guess there's a tiny chance. But still, you can get sick wherever you are. At work. At school. At home. Even if you don't believe in god, you should believe that what is meant to happen will happen, regardless of any attempts to prevent it. So don't be a wimp and wear gloves, all that says about you is that you want your hands to remain smooth for jerking off. If you're seriously that scared of germs, you probably shouldn't be in the gym, anyway.
Extra gym memberships. YA DON'T NEED MORE THAN ONE MEMBERSHIP. Unless one of those memberships is to a jungle gym. Ho ho ho. You don't need one chain gym membership and one CrossFit membership. If you want to get fit, jacked, or strong, you only need to go to one gym multiple times a week.
Disregard this article if you're rich. If you are, buy whatever the fuck you want to buy.
Lululemon clothes. The clothes you wear account for 0% of the gains you make. Yeah, I get the look good --> feel good --> lift good connection, but you don't need to spend out the ass for clothes that look swell. Lululemon is incredibly overpriced and plain. You buy it for the logo, not the quality of clothes, and the brand is still so small that most people won't see it and think you are the bad ass bitch that you aren't.
Fat Gripz. Otherwise known as $40 PVC pipes that cost 5 cents. I understand how it might work your forearms, but wanna know what else works your forearms? FOREARM EXERCISES. Wrist curls, reverse curls, farmer walks. You don't need to spend money to make gains. Especially on products so stuck in the 90's they think replacing 's' with 'z' is cool.
Squat shoes. I get their use if you're a power lifter or squatting heavy weight. But let's get real. Most people who squat won't get over 225. And even if you do, squat shoes only help if you have poor ankle mobility. So save the $200 and just stretch ya ankles every few days.
Weight training gloves. Come on dude, you aren't going to get AIDS from a fucking barbell. Well, actually, ok I guess there's a tiny chance. But still, you can get sick wherever you are. At work. At school. At home. Even if you don't believe in god, you should believe that what is meant to happen will happen, regardless of any attempts to prevent it. So don't be a wimp and wear gloves, all that says about you is that you want your hands to remain smooth for jerking off. If you're seriously that scared of germs, you probably shouldn't be in the gym, anyway.
Extra gym memberships. YA DON'T NEED MORE THAN ONE MEMBERSHIP. Unless one of those memberships is to a jungle gym. Ho ho ho. You don't need one chain gym membership and one CrossFit membership. If you want to get fit, jacked, or strong, you only need to go to one gym multiple times a week.
Disregard this article if you're rich. If you are, buy whatever the fuck you want to buy.
Friday, November 4, 2016
Why Every Single Supplement Company Is Scamming You
Supplement companies sell nutritional dietary products that are often advertised to aid weight loss and bodybuilding. These companies include Optimum Nutrition, Cellucor, MTS, and COUNTLESS others. They often have famous fitness celebrities as product ambassadors. Every roided up good athlete likely has one or others as their sponsor, and credit their success to them in exchange for a big fat check.
All of their money is spent on marketing, not the product. Sleek packaging. Weird mascots. Commercials. Sponsored athletes. Sponsored events. If creatine is so fucking cheap, how can these companies mark it up 100 - 500%? They're not selling a product, they're selling the dream of being ripped. And people pay out the ears for that shit.
They won't reveal the ingredients in their 'proprietary blends' because they are cheap bullshit. Several supplement companies won't list the ingredients in their supplement, instead citing a "proprietary blend" in their ingredient list. They pretend that they don't want to give away their formula because then other companies will copy it and steal their customers. Really, though, they don't want to customer to know that they are paying for the same bullshit they could get off Amazon for a quarter the price.
Every company sells the exact same product under a different wrapper. They all have caffeine, creatine, beta alanine, and some kind of BCAA variant. Anything more is useless, and anything less -- you are not getting your money's worth (not like you would anyway). The biggest difference between products is not their ingredients, it's their fancy packaging. Therefore, you are ALWAYS better off buying the cheapest supplement with the ugliest packaging.
Their sponsored athletes don't benefit from supplements, they benefit from steroids. Citruline Malate won't give you a sixpack. Maybe better erections, but not a sixpack. Only diet, work, and sleep (and a little help from PED's if you're so inclined) can do that. But supp comps push this lie that you need to buy THEIR product to look like THEIR athletes. It's not true. If their athletes look like their on steroids, they probably are.
They tell you that you are not good enough. Yeah, yeah, maybe this is a shallow point. But it's true. Supplement companies tell you that you = not sexy, but you + supplement = sexy, like their athletes who supposedly take the supplement. Maybe you let your friends roast you, but not supp comps.
They are are modern day snake oil salesmen. Fuck them all, even the beloved Bradley Martyn's company.
All of their money is spent on marketing, not the product. Sleek packaging. Weird mascots. Commercials. Sponsored athletes. Sponsored events. If creatine is so fucking cheap, how can these companies mark it up 100 - 500%? They're not selling a product, they're selling the dream of being ripped. And people pay out the ears for that shit.
They won't reveal the ingredients in their 'proprietary blends' because they are cheap bullshit. Several supplement companies won't list the ingredients in their supplement, instead citing a "proprietary blend" in their ingredient list. They pretend that they don't want to give away their formula because then other companies will copy it and steal their customers. Really, though, they don't want to customer to know that they are paying for the same bullshit they could get off Amazon for a quarter the price.
Every company sells the exact same product under a different wrapper. They all have caffeine, creatine, beta alanine, and some kind of BCAA variant. Anything more is useless, and anything less -- you are not getting your money's worth (not like you would anyway). The biggest difference between products is not their ingredients, it's their fancy packaging. Therefore, you are ALWAYS better off buying the cheapest supplement with the ugliest packaging.
Their sponsored athletes don't benefit from supplements, they benefit from steroids. Citruline Malate won't give you a sixpack. Maybe better erections, but not a sixpack. Only diet, work, and sleep (and a little help from PED's if you're so inclined) can do that. But supp comps push this lie that you need to buy THEIR product to look like THEIR athletes. It's not true. If their athletes look like their on steroids, they probably are.
They tell you that you are not good enough. Yeah, yeah, maybe this is a shallow point. But it's true. Supplement companies tell you that you = not sexy, but you + supplement = sexy, like their athletes who supposedly take the supplement. Maybe you let your friends roast you, but not supp comps.
They are are modern day snake oil salesmen. Fuck them all, even the beloved Bradley Martyn's company.
Monday, October 31, 2016
Why People Hate Planet Fitness
Planet Fitness is a budget chain gym that has exploded in popularity due to their clean premises and cheap prices. They are best known for catering to fitness noobs and cardio bunnies.
Planet Fitness officially forbids tank tops and water jugs. They believe that these lead to 'gymtimidation', which is their super creative term for noobs getting scared by the mere sight of people who look like they lift. If you get put off by seeing the results of somebody's hard work, then maybe you're not ready for the gym. Tank tops are by far the most comfortable gym clothes, and if I had to wear a cotton t-shirt during cardio I'd probably resent the gym, too.
Planet Fitness doesn't have barbells. Apparently they used to have barbells, but each franchise eventually abandoned their power racks and benches in exchange for Smith machines. Smith machines are problematic for a number of reasons, primarily because they cause muscle imbalances and make you think you can actually bench 2 plates when the bar only weighs 15ibs. Almost every workout program utilizes barbell exercises, some ONLY contain barbell exercises, which makes Planet Fitness unideal for almost anybody interested in building muscle.
Planet Fitness dumbbells typically only go up to 60ibs. This isn't always true, some have dumbbells higher than that, but it's been the case in my experience. Once you've been lifting for longer than a few months, you should be using much heavier weights for some movements (trap shrugs, stiff-legged deadlifts, bench). You'll get to that point, realize you're stuck in a 12 month contract, hit 5 sets of 30 fucking reps, and then what? You gotta start doing pre-exhausting techniques, but for how long? With these limits, Planet Fitness is never a good long term plan for people who want to lift.
Planet Fitness has a 'Lunk Alarm' that it will ring if somebody drops a weight. Not kidding, they are infamously known for this shit. There is video proof of it being used. I joined a Planet Fitness one summer and was there 6 days a week usually from 5am -7am, and never saw it go off. It was in a poor area of Manhattan, so there were huge gang guys there dropping shit all the time, but it never went off. Still, just the idea of the alarm is enough to piss people off.
Planet Fitness demonizes bodybuilders. All of these rules and regulations lead to one conclusion: they don't want bodybuilders, and they want all their customers to know that they don't want bodybuilders. Why wouldn't they want bodybuilders? Aren't bodybuilders the quintessential gym-goer? NO. Bodybuilders are terrible for gyms, especially cheap ones. They use the equipment everyday and wear that shit out, and the gym will need to replace it all sooner. Planet Fitness, at a paltry $10 a month, needs people who will pay their money and never come and wear out the machines. Who are they? People who are not fit, don't have the dedication to become fit, and get scared by people who are fit. I understand that the gym discriminates against people who work hard to improve their lives for financial reasons, but it's still a dick move.
All that being said, my only experience at Planet Fitness was positive. I was an early morning regular, so I got to know the guys who worked there, and they were all chill. I wore tank tops and never got called out. I had no trouble canceling over the phone, despite being warned it would be a problem. These gyms probably vary by location, and I just got lucky.
Planet Fitness officially forbids tank tops and water jugs. They believe that these lead to 'gymtimidation', which is their super creative term for noobs getting scared by the mere sight of people who look like they lift. If you get put off by seeing the results of somebody's hard work, then maybe you're not ready for the gym. Tank tops are by far the most comfortable gym clothes, and if I had to wear a cotton t-shirt during cardio I'd probably resent the gym, too.
Planet Fitness doesn't have barbells. Apparently they used to have barbells, but each franchise eventually abandoned their power racks and benches in exchange for Smith machines. Smith machines are problematic for a number of reasons, primarily because they cause muscle imbalances and make you think you can actually bench 2 plates when the bar only weighs 15ibs. Almost every workout program utilizes barbell exercises, some ONLY contain barbell exercises, which makes Planet Fitness unideal for almost anybody interested in building muscle.
Planet Fitness dumbbells typically only go up to 60ibs. This isn't always true, some have dumbbells higher than that, but it's been the case in my experience. Once you've been lifting for longer than a few months, you should be using much heavier weights for some movements (trap shrugs, stiff-legged deadlifts, bench). You'll get to that point, realize you're stuck in a 12 month contract, hit 5 sets of 30 fucking reps, and then what? You gotta start doing pre-exhausting techniques, but for how long? With these limits, Planet Fitness is never a good long term plan for people who want to lift.
Planet Fitness has a 'Lunk Alarm' that it will ring if somebody drops a weight. Not kidding, they are infamously known for this shit. There is video proof of it being used. I joined a Planet Fitness one summer and was there 6 days a week usually from 5am -7am, and never saw it go off. It was in a poor area of Manhattan, so there were huge gang guys there dropping shit all the time, but it never went off. Still, just the idea of the alarm is enough to piss people off.
Planet Fitness demonizes bodybuilders. All of these rules and regulations lead to one conclusion: they don't want bodybuilders, and they want all their customers to know that they don't want bodybuilders. Why wouldn't they want bodybuilders? Aren't bodybuilders the quintessential gym-goer? NO. Bodybuilders are terrible for gyms, especially cheap ones. They use the equipment everyday and wear that shit out, and the gym will need to replace it all sooner. Planet Fitness, at a paltry $10 a month, needs people who will pay their money and never come and wear out the machines. Who are they? People who are not fit, don't have the dedication to become fit, and get scared by people who are fit. I understand that the gym discriminates against people who work hard to improve their lives for financial reasons, but it's still a dick move.
All that being said, my only experience at Planet Fitness was positive. I was an early morning regular, so I got to know the guys who worked there, and they were all chill. I wore tank tops and never got called out. I had no trouble canceling over the phone, despite being warned it would be a problem. These gyms probably vary by location, and I just got lucky.
Friday, October 28, 2016
Why People Love Arnold Schwarzenegger
Arnold Schwarzenegger is a 7-time Mr Olympia champion who also happens to be a film icon and a past Governor of California. Starting from literally nothing (immigrant son of Nazi, bro), his life is nothing short of incredible. Every step of the way was totally unnecessary (he was a millionaire before he acted in his first movie) making it all the more enjoyable to watch. There are many reasons to like the guy, which explains his 4 million person Twitter following despite having a boring post history.
Arnold is (well, was) extremely handsome. He is the definition of classic bodybuilding. That chest needs its own bra, double D's, baby please. Big ass arms. Capped delts. But even more important is those face genetics. That cheesy-ass grin. That wavy hair. Guys who are 0/6 on the Kinsey scale would still hu if given the shot.
Arnold is a winner. Bill Burr said it best. The dude has never taken an L (ignoring the whole adultery-bastard child thing). Champion bodybuilder. Movie superstar. Bagged a Kennedy (even if divorced now, still bagged). Governor of California (best state). He would have run for president if not for that pesky natural-born citizen rule... and he would have won, no doubt about it. People hop on the bandwagon to enjoy the ride and see where it goes. How else does everybody seem to be a Patriots fan when Massachusetts is the nipple on the beautiful body that is America?
Arnold is charismatic. He's motivating and people are suckers for motivation. He's funny and gives great interviews. His confidence is infectious. It makes him a fun person to root for.
Arnold went from rags to riches. From the son of a Nazi to the Governor of California. This is some Horatio Alger type shit. Ignore my point about haters in my Why People Hate Fake Nattys post. Sure, there are haters who hate on success, but there is also an equal number of dick riders who like a every post on a successful person's Instagram just to get a hint of the smell of success and hope it stays on them. And of course there are people who are just genuinely good people and dig other people's success. People like me and you, yeah.
People ignore his obvious faults. It's easy to love someone if you only pay attention to their good aspects. He's taken advantage of his celebrity status to cheat bodybuilding competitions. Yeah, yeah, I get he's competitive, but he didn't deserve to win in 1980 by any standard. He's also known to be manipulative and has talked competitors into fucking up their chances. Not very sportsmanlike. But "EYE'LL BEE BAHCH" overshadows these aspects of his character.
If I live a tenth of the life he has, I'll die a happy man.
Arnold is (well, was) extremely handsome. He is the definition of classic bodybuilding. That chest needs its own bra, double D's, baby please. Big ass arms. Capped delts. But even more important is those face genetics. That cheesy-ass grin. That wavy hair. Guys who are 0/6 on the Kinsey scale would still hu if given the shot.
Arnold is a winner. Bill Burr said it best. The dude has never taken an L (ignoring the whole adultery-bastard child thing). Champion bodybuilder. Movie superstar. Bagged a Kennedy (even if divorced now, still bagged). Governor of California (best state). He would have run for president if not for that pesky natural-born citizen rule... and he would have won, no doubt about it. People hop on the bandwagon to enjoy the ride and see where it goes. How else does everybody seem to be a Patriots fan when Massachusetts is the nipple on the beautiful body that is America?
Arnold is charismatic. He's motivating and people are suckers for motivation. He's funny and gives great interviews. His confidence is infectious. It makes him a fun person to root for.
Arnold went from rags to riches. From the son of a Nazi to the Governor of California. This is some Horatio Alger type shit. Ignore my point about haters in my Why People Hate Fake Nattys post. Sure, there are haters who hate on success, but there is also an equal number of dick riders who like a every post on a successful person's Instagram just to get a hint of the smell of success and hope it stays on them. And of course there are people who are just genuinely good people and dig other people's success. People like me and you, yeah.
People ignore his obvious faults. It's easy to love someone if you only pay attention to their good aspects. He's taken advantage of his celebrity status to cheat bodybuilding competitions. Yeah, yeah, I get he's competitive, but he didn't deserve to win in 1980 by any standard. He's also known to be manipulative and has talked competitors into fucking up their chances. Not very sportsmanlike. But "EYE'LL BEE BAHCH" overshadows these aspects of his character.
If I live a tenth of the life he has, I'll die a happy man.
Wednesday, October 26, 2016
Why People Hate Fake Nattys
Fake nattys are people who say they don't take performance enhancing drugs, but really do. While it may be challenging to accurately label someone a fake natty because you don't see what they do all day everyday, some bodies are simply not achievable through just hard work and proper nutrition. A simple FFMI calculation can tell you if someone is juicing, but be aware that many people who do not look remarkable can also be doing steroids - reddit user Dddddjohn calls them, "dbol dads."
People hate liars. This is the most basic of reasons. In a world filled with lies and bullshit, people like to think that there are genuine human beings out there. If you have a physique that is clearly not natural, but you're claiming it is, many people will recognize this bold face like and resent you.
Fake nattys epitomize all the bullshit in the fitness industry. People love fitness, but the only people that love the fitness industry are those making money from it or those too ignorant to know better. The fitness supplement industry is predicated on the fact that people believe their heroes are not on steroids and just look like super beings from protein powder and hard work. This is not true. Fake nattys are usually ingrained in the industry, and their lies are at the center of the industry's success.
People hate on success and shroud that as hating fake nattys. Let's do a 180 on the fake natty haters. People hate it when other people succeed. Haters gonna hate, or something like that. They will look for any little thing in their life to bring them down a notch and belittle their success and popularity. Because if they succeed, that means you can't, right? There's only so much success in the world to get, right?
It makes people feel better about their own (lack of) progress. Anybody smaller than me is a wimp and anybody bigger than me is on steroids. They HAVE to be on steroids. If they weren't, there's no way they could be be bigger, more defined, AND stronger than me. I mean, I've been in the gym for 6 months, I pretty much know all there is to know. I drink my Cellucor C4™ preworkout 30 minutes before I get to the gym, I drink my MyProtein™ BCAA's between the sets, I never do cardio (RIP gains, am I right?), and I have me Optimum Gold Standard™ whey drink right after I work out. Fuck these fake nattys, bro.
People don't understand the politics of bodybuilding sponsorships. If you want to focus on bodybuilding full time and not do gay4pay, you often depend on sponsorships from supplement companies. They will not pay you if you admit to doing steroids, because then they're followers will know that their results are not because of protein powder and BCAA's. Everyone's gotta eat, so can you really blame them?
I blame them if they shout they are natural from the mountaintops and act like those who point out the obvious are on crazy pills. But if they're just not admitting to steroids, I let it pass. Who wouldn't take a fat check that only stipulated that you couldn't admit to taking PEDs?
People hate liars. This is the most basic of reasons. In a world filled with lies and bullshit, people like to think that there are genuine human beings out there. If you have a physique that is clearly not natural, but you're claiming it is, many people will recognize this bold face like and resent you.
Fake nattys epitomize all the bullshit in the fitness industry. People love fitness, but the only people that love the fitness industry are those making money from it or those too ignorant to know better. The fitness supplement industry is predicated on the fact that people believe their heroes are not on steroids and just look like super beings from protein powder and hard work. This is not true. Fake nattys are usually ingrained in the industry, and their lies are at the center of the industry's success.
People hate on success and shroud that as hating fake nattys. Let's do a 180 on the fake natty haters. People hate it when other people succeed. Haters gonna hate, or something like that. They will look for any little thing in their life to bring them down a notch and belittle their success and popularity. Because if they succeed, that means you can't, right? There's only so much success in the world to get, right?
It makes people feel better about their own (lack of) progress. Anybody smaller than me is a wimp and anybody bigger than me is on steroids. They HAVE to be on steroids. If they weren't, there's no way they could be be bigger, more defined, AND stronger than me. I mean, I've been in the gym for 6 months, I pretty much know all there is to know. I drink my Cellucor C4™ preworkout 30 minutes before I get to the gym, I drink my MyProtein™ BCAA's between the sets, I never do cardio (RIP gains, am I right?), and I have me Optimum Gold Standard™ whey drink right after I work out. Fuck these fake nattys, bro.
People don't understand the politics of bodybuilding sponsorships. If you want to focus on bodybuilding full time and not do gay4pay, you often depend on sponsorships from supplement companies. They will not pay you if you admit to doing steroids, because then they're followers will know that their results are not because of protein powder and BCAA's. Everyone's gotta eat, so can you really blame them?
I blame them if they shout they are natural from the mountaintops and act like those who point out the obvious are on crazy pills. But if they're just not admitting to steroids, I let it pass. Who wouldn't take a fat check that only stipulated that you couldn't admit to taking PEDs?
Monday, October 24, 2016
Why People Hate the Mr. Olympia Competition
The Mr. Olympia competition is considered the Super Bowl of bodybuilding. The best bodybuilders every year get together to compete and crown one of them the champion. Lee Haney, Ronnie Coleman, and Phil Heath have all won 8 titles, which is the longest streak for any one contestant. While the bodybuilding division is the most popular, there is also the physique, 212, and Ms. Olympia contests during the same weekend. The competition is also known for its corruption.
It politic, bro. If three contestants are close enough that any of them can with without too much outcry, the one with the cleanest record will win even if he is not the best. That's why Kai has never won, despite many thinking that he bested Phil in the past. Phil didn't fuck a grapefruit, and Kai did. Phil also had his business partner on the judging panel in 2012. And how did Arnie win in 1980 despite CLEARLY not having the best body. He won because his name was worth more than his competitors' names. Arnie was, and still is, the biggest name in the sport. If you want to make it big, the powers-that-be need to have yo back.
The lighting is bad. In a sport that literally depends on lighting, this is just inexcusable. The one in 2007 was so bad you had to squint your eyes to see all the definition. The one in 2008 was almost worse with the highlights washing out the striations. Come on IFBB. If you want to be taken seriously, don't be lazy on the lights.
The judging system makes no goddamn sense. They have pre-judging the night before, then real judging, then the fake-real judging where competitors dance around and the judges pretend like it counts for anything. Are there 3 Super Bowls? 3 World Cups? 3 Olympics? Anything can change between judging rounds, and while that might add some guesswork and anticipation, it's dumb and not fair to the athletes who need to peak 3 fucking times.
The entire contest is a shill for supplement companies. Sponsors, sponsors everywhere. They make their $$$ from the expo the days before that give fans protein powder samples in plastic bags. Yeah, I get they have to sell out a little bit, but when random-ass Amazon.com is a bodybuilding contest sponsor you know the IFBB just doesn't give a fuck who sponsors them as a long as the dollas are coming in.
The judging standards have gotten out of control. Not to ignite the ol "back in my day bodybuilding looked good!" argument... but the expectations have changed. Arnold killed it back then, but he wouldn't even place top 16 if the 1975 version of himself competed today. And the women's bodybuilding contest has also gotten totally out of hand, with judges basically forcing contestants to take drugs that forever alter their bodies and make them look increasingly masculine. How much bigger will we go?
The IFBB sucks. Replace the judges with previous Mr. Olympia winners.
It politic, bro. If three contestants are close enough that any of them can with without too much outcry, the one with the cleanest record will win even if he is not the best. That's why Kai has never won, despite many thinking that he bested Phil in the past. Phil didn't fuck a grapefruit, and Kai did. Phil also had his business partner on the judging panel in 2012. And how did Arnie win in 1980 despite CLEARLY not having the best body. He won because his name was worth more than his competitors' names. Arnie was, and still is, the biggest name in the sport. If you want to make it big, the powers-that-be need to have yo back.
The lighting is bad. In a sport that literally depends on lighting, this is just inexcusable. The one in 2007 was so bad you had to squint your eyes to see all the definition. The one in 2008 was almost worse with the highlights washing out the striations. Come on IFBB. If you want to be taken seriously, don't be lazy on the lights.
The judging system makes no goddamn sense. They have pre-judging the night before, then real judging, then the fake-real judging where competitors dance around and the judges pretend like it counts for anything. Are there 3 Super Bowls? 3 World Cups? 3 Olympics? Anything can change between judging rounds, and while that might add some guesswork and anticipation, it's dumb and not fair to the athletes who need to peak 3 fucking times.
The entire contest is a shill for supplement companies. Sponsors, sponsors everywhere. They make their $$$ from the expo the days before that give fans protein powder samples in plastic bags. Yeah, I get they have to sell out a little bit, but when random-ass Amazon.com is a bodybuilding contest sponsor you know the IFBB just doesn't give a fuck who sponsors them as a long as the dollas are coming in.
The judging standards have gotten out of control. Not to ignite the ol "back in my day bodybuilding looked good!" argument... but the expectations have changed. Arnold killed it back then, but he wouldn't even place top 16 if the 1975 version of himself competed today. And the women's bodybuilding contest has also gotten totally out of hand, with judges basically forcing contestants to take drugs that forever alter their bodies and make them look increasingly masculine. How much bigger will we go?
The IFBB sucks. Replace the judges with previous Mr. Olympia winners.
Friday, October 21, 2016
Why People Hate CrossFit
CrossFit is a branded fitness regimen that is based on daily workouts that followers can access online. It's a bastardized mixture of powerlifting and high-intensity interval training. This subpar 'sport' is sponsored by the subpar clothing brand, Reebok. It's known for its high injury occurrence and the obsessive behavior of its fans. The CrossFit CEO also hates Nick Jonas.
CrossFitters are annoying. How do you know someone does CrossFit? They tell you. Probably long before you ask. Many CrossFitters consider it their label and their primary purpose in life (not CrossFit, but telling people that they do CrossFit). They're almost up there with vegans and mormons. Whether or not you wanted it, CrossFit will be the subject of any conversation you have with them.
CrossFit promotes bad form. Their WODs (that's 'workout of the day' to you non-CrossFit plebs) primarily consist of tons of reps of compound exercises. When you're doing defined sets of X reps, you can mentally prepare yourself to brace your core for each rep. But when you're busting them out like you're trying to rip your tendons apart, cores gets soft, backs curves, all fucks go out the window because you're just trying to survive. CrossFitters don't care about form as long as they achieve a certain number of 'reps' in a certain amount of time. AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THEIR PULL-UPS.
CrossFit is hella expensive. Sure, you can look at their workouts online for free, but good luck doing them in your garage or 99% of gyms out there. If you want to do CrossFit, and I'm not sure why you would, you'll need an all-access exclusive pass to their 'boxes'. And their average monthly fee is $125. Planet Fitness, which has its own issues, has WAY more equipment than a box and costs $10 a month. With that extra $115 a month you could buy some actual drugs to get you actual gains.
CrossFit inflates the egos of lifters with bad form. I get why they do it: ya make 'em feel good, they'll come back for more and keep paying their monthly fees. But by not correcting bad form, and instead awarding it with cash and meaningless titles like "The Fittest Man Alive", ya teach the kids that it's ok if their back breaks because at least they'll have a plastic trophy to comfort them. If you can't lift 225 with the right form, you can't lift 225.
The CrossFit Games try to kill their competitors. Their Netflix doc was just plain scary. People looking like they were about to break their backs on deadlifts. Passing out from the heat. Injury disqualifications. I saw it, and remember how the sport even made the athletes remain outside in the blazing heat after they crossed the finish line. They had to find refuge in tiny spots of shade under seats. It was ridiculous, and anyone associated with CrossFit should be embarrassed (well, additionally embarrassed...they already do CrossFit).
CrossFit is a bit like a cult (relentless obsession, high initiation costs, groupthink) and once you join it's hard to leave.
Stay clean.
Avoid the box.
Wednesday, October 12, 2016
Why Ronnie Coleman Has Deteriorated
Ronnie Coleman is an EIGHT-TIME Mr. Olympia champion who has also won an Arnold Classic title and a record 26 IFBB pro contests. He’s deadlifted 800 pounds, squatted 800 pounds, and benched 200lb dumbbells. Ridiculous feats of human strength. In a world where bodybuilders are stereotyped as weak, Ronnie was among the best bodybuilders and powerlifters in the world during his prime.
Since 2007, Ronnie has had at least 6 surgeries on his neck, back, and hips. According to Muscle & Fitness:
• December 2007 - Laminectomy of L4-L5 discs
• July 2011 - Disc decompression of L3-L4 discs
• December 2011 - Fusion of neck C4-C5-C6
• July 2014 - Left hip replacement requiring 2 screws
• August 2014 - Right hip replacement requiring 4 screws
• July 2015 - Fusion of L3-L4 discs
TWO HIP REPLACEMENTS. Those are not simple surgeries. These are serious operations, with serious risks. And they’re the result of having moved far more weight than the human body was ever designed to do. It’s important for people to push themselves out of their comfort zones, but is it necessary to push your spine out of your body?
Ronnie says he doesn’t regret a minute of his body-breaking regimen. The dude’s training literally broke his back, but he says he wouldn't have changed any of it. Well, actually, he’s said that he wished he would have trained harder: “I know for a fact that I could have done four reps on that 800-pound squat instead of two, but I had two set in my mind before I even picked it up, so that’s what I did.” Honestly, it’s hard to believe that he would lie about wishing he had done more damage to his body. Ronnie is loved worldwide for his dedication to the sport and to his fans, and for the majority of his adult life, bodybuilding was his life. He could have gone the way of many of the bodybuilders of his era and rejoined humanity, but he didn’t. He gets props for that, but he clearly took it too far.
Ronnie lifted heavy-ass weights too often and too long. Most people see his 800 pound squats and don’t realize that Ronnie trained that hard everyday. His work ethic was insane (and he was a genetic freak who must have taken copious amounts of cool drugs), and his lift numbers reflected that. But now it's difficult for him to walk.
Stay healthy, bros. Don’t squat 800 pounds on the regular.
Friday, October 7, 2016
Why Phil Heath Always Wins
Phil Heath is a 6-time Mr. Olympia winner and the current defending champ. He’s won every Mr. Olympia contest since 2011, and shows no sign of slowing down. His nickname is “The Gift”, a reference to his freak genetics — if you train, eat, and inject the same stuff that he does, you will never look half as good as him because you don’t have those genes. He used to lead the clothing company Gifted Apparel, but has since cut off all ties with its’ owners (how awkward). He trains in Colorado (cue conspiracy theories about the elevation’s effect on his training) and is lovingly known as one of the most boring Mr. Olympia winners in recent memory.
The IFBB wants Phil to win, even if the fans don’t. Would we want the same NFL team to win the Super Bowl every year? Yeah, it’s great for their fans, but the fans of the other 15/16 teams would get tired of that shit real quick. Phil isn’t a particularly charismatic fella. He’s arrogant and cocky, as is probably any repeat Mr. Olympia, but it goes from cute to annoying-as-hell rather quick. On the other hand, the IFBB wants repeat winners because bodybuilding is a tiny sport. If a contestant wins one Sandow, he MIGHT be in the news the next morning. But if the contestant is competing for his third Sandow, there will be months of speculation; will he get the threepeat?? The winners promote the sport, and a great winner needs many titles.
He has no weak spots on his physique. Capped delts. Symmetrical abs. 3D chest. Best back in the game. His Y taper. His forearms have forearms. Muscle bellies are full. The only part people can complain about is a possible bubble gut, but if he has one, he holds it in well (most of the time). Also, the next three physiques that come close to his also have a bubble gut. None of these guys can pull off a great vacuum, but they are mass monsters, and Phil is almost always the best of them all.
The only competitor who has come close, Kai Greene, once fucked a grapefruit. He used to to pay for his bodybuilding career by doing G4P videos, the most controversial one being with a grapefruit. Most sane, rational people would say that what’s done is done and Kai should only be judged on what he brings to the stage. But as I’ve said, bodybuilding is a tiny sport, and if the champion was a man who had been caught on video copulating with citrus fruits, the drama would cast a shadow over the entire competition. Politics, bro.
I’m pulling for old man Dex next year, but realistically, Phil will keep on winning until he retires or decides to go full-on off season Lee Priest.
Monday, October 3, 2016
Why People Hate Vegan Gains
Richard Burgess, AKA Vegan Gains, is a vegan/fitness YouTuber who is best known for his "Worst of the Fitness Industry" series. He's amassed a massive subscriber base of over 200,000 people in under 2 years who love him and hate him (based off that like/dislike ratio). He moved to Belgium to be with his girlfriend that many say looks like Harry Potter, but recently announced that he is moving back to Toronto.
Richard is vegan. People irrationally hate vegans. They see them as weak, inferior, and stuck-up. Men see it as emasculating. It doesn't make much sense, but it's true. Why else would there be dozens of buzzfeed-type articles on the subject? Even if Richard was an angel, some people would hate him because he's vegan.
Richard is an aggressive vegan. This is more rational. I don't like aggressive people. He's the kind of vegan that stalks people and accuses them of torturing animals. And he does it with friends! It's uncomfortable. It's awkward. Nobody likes that shit.
Richard shits on people's heroes. Richard's most popular series is titled "Worst of the Fitness Industry". He has countless videos tearing apart fake nattys and all of their training and dietary advice. And then he recommends they go vegan.
Richard wanted to film his grandfather's death for a YouTube video. For a lot of people, this was the last straw. Richard's grandfather had a heart attack after a life of terrible food choices and little exercise. Richard wanted to film it to show people the consequences of not being vegan. The internet went crazy and almost universally condemned him. People said he was trying to profit from his grandfather's death, and then they profited from his misfortune by making videos about it.
Richard has blamed complex diseases solely on meat consumption. He's made multiple videos blaming popular YouTuber Furious Pete's cancer on meat consumption. To the immense outrage of Pete's fans. In reality, there are infinite causes to cancer and Richard can't possible predict the cause of Pete's cancer without any kind of formal medical training.
That all being said, I'm a subscriber cause I like the roasts. This shit, however, is not what I signed up for.
Richard is vegan. People irrationally hate vegans. They see them as weak, inferior, and stuck-up. Men see it as emasculating. It doesn't make much sense, but it's true. Why else would there be dozens of buzzfeed-type articles on the subject? Even if Richard was an angel, some people would hate him because he's vegan.
Richard is an aggressive vegan. This is more rational. I don't like aggressive people. He's the kind of vegan that stalks people and accuses them of torturing animals. And he does it with friends! It's uncomfortable. It's awkward. Nobody likes that shit.
Richard shits on people's heroes. Richard's most popular series is titled "Worst of the Fitness Industry". He has countless videos tearing apart fake nattys and all of their training and dietary advice. And then he recommends they go vegan.
Richard wanted to film his grandfather's death for a YouTube video. For a lot of people, this was the last straw. Richard's grandfather had a heart attack after a life of terrible food choices and little exercise. Richard wanted to film it to show people the consequences of not being vegan. The internet went crazy and almost universally condemned him. People said he was trying to profit from his grandfather's death, and then they profited from his misfortune by making videos about it.
Richard has blamed complex diseases solely on meat consumption. He's made multiple videos blaming popular YouTuber Furious Pete's cancer on meat consumption. To the immense outrage of Pete's fans. In reality, there are infinite causes to cancer and Richard can't possible predict the cause of Pete's cancer without any kind of formal medical training.
That all being said, I'm a subscriber cause I like the roasts. This shit, however, is not what I signed up for.
Monday, September 26, 2016
Why People Hate Jason Genova
Jason Genova is a fitness YouTuber known for telling his supporters to attack other people's social media. It is unclear of the extent of his mental issues, but he may have OCD, ADD, be on the autism spectrum, or possibly have fetal alcohol syndrome. Whatever he has, he can pretty much function like a normal dude, and is often unintentionally hilarious. His channel, and that of his squad the Delray Misfits, gained a cult-like following on reddit, 4chan, and misc.
Jason scammed his fans out of money. He 'sold' t-shirts online at his sickeningsupplements website, but once people paid, he never sent them their products. He blamed it on the guy who ran the site, and despite telling people he would issue refunds, it was the other guy that had to do it. He claims that he was only the face of the 'company', but didn't do any of the real work. He then had the audacity to beg his supporters to click on his YouTube ads so he could make more money.
Jason sends thousands of his supporters to attack and spam other people's social media accounts, sometimes for no reason at all. The "order 66" has become The Spaniard's trademark, and he's become drunk with power. It started innocently enough -- the angry vegan gains, the delusional Jason Blaha -- but then he order 66ed people who didn't deserve it, namely the oily Rich Piana. And we all know how THAT ended. Even though Rich shouldn't have slapped the fuck out of him, he had a point when he said that Jason was fucking around too much. Unless a person attacks Jason first, order 66ing him or her is a bitch move.
Jason treats his friends like shit. The best example is the earliest example: when he ditched his closest ally and cameraman, Andrew the Angel, in exchange for a shitty digital camera. Up until that point, Andrew had done most of the filming for Jason's YouTube channel (for no pay, might I add). Then, some internet rando named Chad tried to 'rebrand' Jason and offered to buy him his own camera if Jason ditched Andrew. Jason, the hoe that he is, did just that. After watching every single Delray Misfits episode, I have never seen anybody treat Jason with the amount of respect (and fucking patience) as Andrew. Not even Jason's own mother.
Jason wastes genetic potential. He looked decent when he was coached by Adam, so we know he has potential. He has calves. But he can't stick to a diet for more than 3 days. Adam literally had to stalk Jason to make sure he didn't hit up Burger King. Jason also has great facial hair genetics, but his face is the only part of his body that he keeps hygienic and shaved. He doesn't take advantage of the gifts that God gave him.
Jason is obsessed with his social media accounts. Everybody hates that one girl who takes too many selfies and obsesses over likes and retweets. Jason is that girl. Andrew once tried to give him a real talk about friendship, and Jason brought it back to YouTube subscribers every other second. Jason had the chance to meet 8 TIME MR. OLYMPIA Ronnie Coleman, but he only cared about the views it would bring to his channel. He also just becomes a different, weirder version of himself when he turns the camera on. He's become a narcissistic jerk.
Even if Jason is autistic/OCD/ADD/has some kind of metal issue, he's still an asshole. He may be a good person at heart, but to his friends and his fans, he's an asshole.
Jason scammed his fans out of money. He 'sold' t-shirts online at his sickeningsupplements website, but once people paid, he never sent them their products. He blamed it on the guy who ran the site, and despite telling people he would issue refunds, it was the other guy that had to do it. He claims that he was only the face of the 'company', but didn't do any of the real work. He then had the audacity to beg his supporters to click on his YouTube ads so he could make more money.
Jason sends thousands of his supporters to attack and spam other people's social media accounts, sometimes for no reason at all. The "order 66" has become The Spaniard's trademark, and he's become drunk with power. It started innocently enough -- the angry vegan gains, the delusional Jason Blaha -- but then he order 66ed people who didn't deserve it, namely the oily Rich Piana. And we all know how THAT ended. Even though Rich shouldn't have slapped the fuck out of him, he had a point when he said that Jason was fucking around too much. Unless a person attacks Jason first, order 66ing him or her is a bitch move.
Jason treats his friends like shit. The best example is the earliest example: when he ditched his closest ally and cameraman, Andrew the Angel, in exchange for a shitty digital camera. Up until that point, Andrew had done most of the filming for Jason's YouTube channel (for no pay, might I add). Then, some internet rando named Chad tried to 'rebrand' Jason and offered to buy him his own camera if Jason ditched Andrew. Jason, the hoe that he is, did just that. After watching every single Delray Misfits episode, I have never seen anybody treat Jason with the amount of respect (and fucking patience) as Andrew. Not even Jason's own mother.
Jason wastes genetic potential. He looked decent when he was coached by Adam, so we know he has potential. He has calves. But he can't stick to a diet for more than 3 days. Adam literally had to stalk Jason to make sure he didn't hit up Burger King. Jason also has great facial hair genetics, but his face is the only part of his body that he keeps hygienic and shaved. He doesn't take advantage of the gifts that God gave him.
Jason is obsessed with his social media accounts. Everybody hates that one girl who takes too many selfies and obsesses over likes and retweets. Jason is that girl. Andrew once tried to give him a real talk about friendship, and Jason brought it back to YouTube subscribers every other second. Jason had the chance to meet 8 TIME MR. OLYMPIA Ronnie Coleman, but he only cared about the views it would bring to his channel. He also just becomes a different, weirder version of himself when he turns the camera on. He's become a narcissistic jerk.
Even if Jason is autistic/OCD/ADD/has some kind of metal issue, he's still an asshole. He may be a good person at heart, but to his friends and his fans, he's an asshole.
Friday, September 23, 2016
Why People Hate Jason Blaha
Jason Blaha is a fitness YouTuber that makes content aimed at fitness noobs. He is/was a competitive powerlifter, but seems to be over the hump and doesn't really train for much these days. He used to be a bodybuilder, though shoddy records don't prove he ever won a competition. Nowadays, he is best known for being so delusional that he's had multiple YouTube channels created that are dedicated to unraveling all of his lies and fictitious stories.
Jason's YouTube channel regurgitates the same topics over and over again to fitness noobs. Once you've watched ten videos, you've seen them all. He has so many fucking videos that one of them is bound to pop up on a recommended feed for someone watching fitness YouTubers. They'll sub for a bit, then leave him after they realize he's full of shit -- repeat forever with different people. It's the perfect business plan for a shitty channel.
Jason is allegedly guilty of stolen valor. He's pretended to have worked as a CIA agent and as a mercenary. People called bullshit, and he got his friend to post an anonymous video confirming his fake stories. Miscers or just people with too much fucking time on their hands backtracked this guy, and found that he has absolutely no mercenary history either. I'm sure if someone could actually find Jason, we'd get a great addition to those stolen valor confrontation videos.
Jason preaches certain training methods and dieting routines yet lacks the body to back them up. He's a strong advocate of a 3 day, full body program. All of his videos tout his superior knowledge about training and diet, yet he looks like he's never touched a weight in his life. NOT TO MENTION THAT HE'S ON GEAR. If you're taking PEDs. have been training for over a decade, and you don't look good, you're bullshitting either your diet or your training and are not qualified to dole out advice.
Jason is a filthy hypocrite in all aspects of live. He talks about going vegetarian because he saw a cow get slaughtered. Then he says you're a "little fucking bitch" if you don't eat bacon. He says "little men" attack women. Then he calls Dana Linn Bailey a horse. He says protein powders are a waste of money. Then he promotes protein powder on his channel for money. The list goes on and on, but these are the highlights.
Jason is either seriously delusional, or our reptilian overlord. He made THOUSANDS of posts on a message board dedicated to a strange conspiracy theory that the world is run by lizard people. Before you say that this there's no way it was him, he admits it all. His excuse is that he was a paid fiction writer who has signed a contract to not give any details about it. That excuse is so fucking crazy it basically refutes itself, but in case it isn't enough, Jason gave personal information on his DarkEternal page that stripped his anonymity dozens of times over. Not something a "professional fiction writer" would have done.
This is basically just a highlight list of what some good folks have put together at genovapedia.org/blahapedia.html. It all paints a picture of a sad man with mental issues. But he's still a fucking asshole.
Jason's YouTube channel regurgitates the same topics over and over again to fitness noobs. Once you've watched ten videos, you've seen them all. He has so many fucking videos that one of them is bound to pop up on a recommended feed for someone watching fitness YouTubers. They'll sub for a bit, then leave him after they realize he's full of shit -- repeat forever with different people. It's the perfect business plan for a shitty channel.
Jason is allegedly guilty of stolen valor. He's pretended to have worked as a CIA agent and as a mercenary. People called bullshit, and he got his friend to post an anonymous video confirming his fake stories. Miscers or just people with too much fucking time on their hands backtracked this guy, and found that he has absolutely no mercenary history either. I'm sure if someone could actually find Jason, we'd get a great addition to those stolen valor confrontation videos.
Jason preaches certain training methods and dieting routines yet lacks the body to back them up. He's a strong advocate of a 3 day, full body program. All of his videos tout his superior knowledge about training and diet, yet he looks like he's never touched a weight in his life. NOT TO MENTION THAT HE'S ON GEAR. If you're taking PEDs. have been training for over a decade, and you don't look good, you're bullshitting either your diet or your training and are not qualified to dole out advice.
Jason is a filthy hypocrite in all aspects of live. He talks about going vegetarian because he saw a cow get slaughtered. Then he says you're a "little fucking bitch" if you don't eat bacon. He says "little men" attack women. Then he calls Dana Linn Bailey a horse. He says protein powders are a waste of money. Then he promotes protein powder on his channel for money. The list goes on and on, but these are the highlights.
Jason is either seriously delusional, or our reptilian overlord. He made THOUSANDS of posts on a message board dedicated to a strange conspiracy theory that the world is run by lizard people. Before you say that this there's no way it was him, he admits it all. His excuse is that he was a paid fiction writer who has signed a contract to not give any details about it. That excuse is so fucking crazy it basically refutes itself, but in case it isn't enough, Jason gave personal information on his DarkEternal page that stripped his anonymity dozens of times over. Not something a "professional fiction writer" would have done.
This is basically just a highlight list of what some good folks have put together at genovapedia.org/blahapedia.html. It all paints a picture of a sad man with mental issues. But he's still a fucking asshole.
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